Tagged in: San Francisco Giants

Get on your party dress, ’cause we be celebratin’ another year into extinction!

New Year’s Eve, baby! Here we are. Holy shit, I can’t believe this year is already coming to it’s end. 2004 Sped by me like a fat man on his way to the all-you-can-eat buffet. And in this circumstance, I am shoved away and left bruised and broken in the aftermath, a confused creature, petrified forever by morbid obesity.

My 2004 Recap
This year might have slipped away, but it was one craaaazy effing year. We were still very much involved in the pointless Iraqi war, losing countless more soldiers every day to local ‘insurgents’, long after hostilities were reported to have ceased. Bin Laden, much like now, is still at large, still keeping in contact via Al Jazeera’s airings of his vhs tapes periodically. So, adding much insult to injury, we still get to see the 9/11 murderer alive and well on videotape every few months, ya know, just in case we were missing his presence….grr. Sadly, nothing has presently changed in this situation. That’s our tax dollars at work, boys and girls. Areas once reported as ’secured’ in Iraq are still swarming with rebel and insurgent factions not exactly pleased with what the good ‘ol US of A is doing there. Uh, what the phuq are we doing there again? Oh yeah, instilling democracy and goodwill, I keep forgetting, I beg your pardon…

Collectively, this country done lost it’s muthaphuqin mind this year, and I think it all began during the super bowl. Yes, we all remember the nation shitting itself over a “wordrobe malfunction”, don’t we? Well, I believe that was just the little jostle that broke our spirits sending us spiraling into madness and hell shortly thereafter. Given a strong shove into the spotlight by a religious right hellbent on pursuing the agenda of “family values” (gawd, I really dislike those two words together), they chided The Federal Communications Commission and it’s board of unelected officials into deciding enough is enough with all the hedonism and general depravity thats has been going on fer too long in this countrah, goddimit!! *cue American Flag* And they started cracking heads, or in this case, pocketbooks.

Before you knew it, Janet J.’s blurry tit was being played every 15 minutes 24-7 on any network having anything remotely to do with reporting. The FCC vowed for blood, and the media machine gave it’s full attention to this important new ground shaking issue. And why? WTF? Do you suppose it is so crucial to etch it into our minds as the Worst Possible Thing to Ever Happen in the History of the Nation (*clearing throat* well, with the exception of 9/11, of course) ? Hefty fines were levied on radio, tv, and even certain cable outlets all for offending certain sensibilities in newly made up ’standards of broadcast integrity’. Some TV shows got yanked. Radio DJs got huge fines and some even got the boot because of something they did earlier in their careers that may or may not have violated the code of ethics buried within these new retroactively-enforceable standards. No you didn’t read incorrectly, retroactive. So now, they can sue your balls off for saying ‘penile implant’ at a time when no one knew what it mean’t, or cared, or much less made an effort to bitch about it. Whats more, these ‘rules’ are about as unclear, unequal, and as non-existant as the pink elephants I see when I drink the magic purple juice. Ain’t being a gov’t official great kids? Mainstream network media hasn’t, and will never broadcast the same way again after this, mark my words, people.

Oh well. The hell with them. With exception to big games like the super bowl, I don’t believe I watched any “must-see-tv”, or tuned in for some hard-hitting news programs from the networks in 2004. The entertainment quotient network tv presently provides has been bottom-of-the-barrel for so long, i’ve grown apathetic to it’s imminent demise. Good riddance, I say. Let the bleeding begin – tell the bible thumpers to take them over in the name of jesus and show morally uplifting docudramas from dusk to dawn for all I care. However, I will offer my opinion that this particular JanetGate Incident was, and still is, re-goddamn-diculous. This year painted a great picture of our nation as being the truly litigious society some have always feared we’d become. We are collectively making the concept of accountability obsolete. Yessir, before we realized, the “PC police” had already infiltrated our humble society covertly, and taken up roots.

The 2004 Summer Olympics took place in Athens, with much todo, and aside from the previous reports of it being underfunded, behind schedule, and lacking in sufficient security, it was a hit. I especially enjoyed the women’s beach volleyball. They should have no other events. Just the volleyball. Oh, and maybe swimming. Love the outfits…;)

It was an election year, and as expected, there was a lot of campaigning going on, and as if predetermined for chaos, it became ugly quite fast and deliberately. The choices in candidates sucked the high hard one again, but I was optimistic that after these previous 4 years, we as a society still maintained a tiny semblance of common sense, and would vote this over privileged idiot out of office. I was dead wrong, and we (well, not me personally) elected to re-entrust an man who has provided example after example of why he should have no business in politics (unintelligent, arrogantly starting unfounded wars, running us into economic mayhem, etc.) to keep our nation’s affairs in order – again. *sigh* Forgive us, for we know not….not….we know nothing.

The Giants had a great season, but fell short, as predicted, once again this year. At least spring training is in a few months. The super bowl, in just a few weeks, could prove very interesting. The 49ers and Dolphins became 2004’s worst football teams – yay! Professional Hockey evaporated this year, with no encouraging insight for next year. Too bad – I was really starting to enjoy it after attending my first games in person last year. Instead, we got preempted with 24-7 basketball because they started their season early – meh. Professional basketball generally eats raw sausage now that basketball players have lowered themselves and their sport to common street criminal level, and vice versa. The image of “thugball” was further reinforced with the fan/player basket-brawl starring Ron Artest, the Fightin’ Pacers and your Detroit Pist-offs. Beautiful job, you jackoffs. Maybe this is why for the first time EVER, since introducing professional players into the Olympic Games, the U.S. came in THIRD in the sport of basketball. When image overrides the importance of the game, why bother with the charade?

Oh, and we got robots safely on the surface of the planet Mars. Tres’ cool. Talk at you again next year!