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AHnold tells us how to vote

The other day, I got this wonderful “Ballot Proposal Voter Guide” in the mail, sent directly to ME (and every registered voter in Ca.), from our current “Guhvernator-in-charge” Ahnold Schwarzeneggar. Its chock full of flattering pictures and quotes from the “Gov”, instructing the would-be prospective California voters of the state propositions we SHOULD be voting for in this upcoming election. Yummy!

I guess I should be thanking the Republican party, for weeding out all of that pesky “reading” of said propositions for myself, thus recklessly making objective decisions purely based upon “thought”. And we ALL know that if we base our decisions upon this dangerous logic, the terrorists win. Therefore, I give you “Ahnold’s Picks”:

To the left is a heartfelt plea to the unwashed voters of California, by Mr. Man-In-Charge himself, reminding us that our right to vote is important, and that we should not take said right for granted, as many poor dregs around the world are still denied said right, and that we, as Californians, should be generally grateful, goddammit. We are told to not screw up this opportunity by using our own conscience, but to use this guide to tell us what, and what not to vote for. Ain’t politics easy?? As I meandered on into this important piece of partisan literature, I was humbled by the sheer simplicity of the document, laid out in red and blue, very easy to distinguish, except if you’re colorblind.

And of course, if you’re colorblind, you have no business being a deciding factor in our future. Turn in your voter registration card at the nearest polling center IMMEDIATELY, and then report directly to re-education! Gohvernator has it all wrapped up and laid out for us, in a contrasting red and blue format. Blue for “yes, you WILL vote for the pretty blue number – do not think, just do”, Red for “if you vote yes on this, you traitorous hippee, I will eat your first born – don’t fuck with me, i’ll do it!” Ya know, even though our “Guhv” is a FORMER body builder and movie star, I can’t help but think that if I vote incorrectly, “Der Terminator” is going to show up at my doorstep, RPG in hand, looking for fast answers.

This shit is a little scary.

In addition to this “informative guide”, there is an envelope enclosed, allowing us to CONTRIBUTE money to the humble group responsible for this “color-coded goodness”, the Republican Party. Even if you’re a registered Democrat, you should at least send a few bucks to them for their woeful sacrifice of many colored inks, giving us the “knowledge” of what to vote for, don’t you think? After all, Its for our own good, you know. Oh, and make sure it’s stamped before you send it in, though. I suppose with all of the money spent on pretty packaging, there wasn’t enough in the budget for prestamped envelopes….*sigh*

In all seriousness, this kind of political pandering cheeses me off in the worst way. If you’re voting this coming November 2nd, crap like this isn’t going to give you any objective knowledge to help you decide. If you haven’t already received one, get a sample ballot for your state from the local Registrar of Voters. You should be able to easily find one in your local phone book, or through an internet search. The sample ballot contains all of the candidate names, so that you can research each one further, and explains all upcoming propositions in an objective, non-partisan way. Use your head, not propaganda being spewed at you from political affiliations, to make an informed decision. Our state, and our nation’s future depends on us!

(This message NOT endorsed by The California Republican Party. Tee Hee.)

Oh, and P.S.: Another shout out to the BoSox. With tonight’s win, they are up 2-0 in the World Series over the Cards. With Tuesday’s game 3, are they quite possibly on their way to a sweep?? I’m pullin’ for that curse to break wide open, Boston. Keep on steamrolling St. Louis!